The first thing i did BEFORE leaving my 9-5

So does any of this sound familiar?

• Are your evenings and weekends spent complaining about your work and how life isn’t turning out how you hoped?
• Do you feel like you have no spare time for relaxing or having fun, but just rush around completing an endless ‘to do’ list?
• When you do have free time, do you just crash out in front of the TV or scroll mindlessly through social media?
• Are you staying in a job that makes you unhappy and doesn’t pay enough, but feel powerless to change your situation?

Well I WAS that person. I got so used to feeling stressed out, complaining about my life and making excuses about why I was stuck in a rut, that it became a deeply ingrained habit that I wasn’t even aware of.
 
I had become so negative that it was even starting to affect my health, happiness and relationships.

Usually sympathetic friends would glaze over or change the subject when I started to complain about work.  

I became snappy and resentful, and took my unhappiness out on the closest people to me (my endlessly understanding boyfriend deserves a medal!).  

I had less energy, didn’t feel like going out, and started to wonder where the ‘old me’ had gone…
 
When you are in that mindset, it can be hard to contemplate how you’re ever going to start changing your life around. It all feels too exhausting and scary, and so you stay stuck.
 
Creating your dream career or business takes time, and there are no quick fixes. If you’re well and truly stuck in a rut, then you will have been thinking the same old negative thoughts over and over for a long time, which will be bringing your energy down.

However what started to change things for me was when I came across a positive psychology tool called a gratitude journal.

Once I started looking into it, I realised that I was pretty late to the party! Arianna Huffington features them in her book Thrive, Kate Hudson writes in hers every day, and Oprah has been keeping hers for years.

It requires you to notice what’s good in your life each day, rather than what is wrong, and studies have shown that it increases life satisfaction, happiness, optimism and energy, and staves off depression, anxiety, envy and loneliness.
 
So ask yourself these 3 questions each day, and briefly note down the answers in your journal:

• What is good in your life?
• What are you grateful for?
• What has gone well?  

After just a week, I was able to look back and start to appreciate what I already had in my life:

I felt less like a failure and started to notice my successes.

My confidence and self belief started to grow

I started to feel more creative and think more clearly and positively

Change brings energy, and new ways of thinking. This is the first step to breaking those old habits that have been holding you back for waaaaay too long.

• So if you’re feeling hopeless…
• So if you’re feeling stuck…
• So if you’re feeling overwhelmed…

Give the journalling a try for just 7 days, and let me know how you get on. I’d love to hear if this little tip has helped you get unstuck too.

What's your relationship with money like?

This is a bit embarrassing to admit to, but I used to be pretty tight with money. Some might say, ‘thrifty’!

Let me explain. I was lucky growing up and had two great parents who always made sure my brother and I had whatever we needed. We lived in a lovely home, went to France for our summer holidays, and I never felt any sense of lack or deprivation.  

But somewhere along the way, I got this idea that I would never be rich. That was for other people. Luckier people. More confident people. 

Rich people had money because they were born with it. Or they got great jobs because of their connections. Or they were just ballsy and talked their way into getting promotion after promotion. 

I’m not sure where the idea came from, maybe because of my mum’s natural cautiousness with money, or my dad’s slightly more gung-ho ‘spend it or lose it’ attitude.

But whatever it was, I truly didn’t believe that money was going to ever stay around in my life for very long, and I took that mindset into adulthood without ever being conscious of it.

It affected the jobs I took, the salaries I accepted (I NEVER asked for a pay rise), and the promotions I never dared to apply for. Those were for luckier, more confident people.

So you can see how this ‘money story’ affected and restricted my whole life. Does it sound familiar to you?

I thought I was being sensible and responsible, but in reality, I was just being cheap with myself.  

If I did spend money, I felt guilty or had to justify it to myself. “Well I bought that new top because the old one had a hole in it”, or “we went out for dinner but only had two courses not three”. 

"I would love to, but I can't afford it" was my mantra. Again, sound familiar? 

Money came with guilt attached, and I even felt guilty about wanting to earn more. I felt like I should be grateful for what I had and make the best of it. 

It wasn't until I hit a financial plateau in my business that I realized I needed to change the way I thought about money. 

I had to stop thinking that there would never be enough, and start creating a more abundant lifestyle from where I was already. It started with small steps:

• I invested in beautiful stationery and pens for my home office (instead of cheap multipacks of biros!)
• I began tipping a bit more generously in restaurants  
• I started to get a regular cut and blow-dry instead of leaving it for months and letting my hair grow out like Rapunzel! 
• And I invested in a success coach to help me take my business to the next level, instead of trying to do everything alone.

And things slowly began to shift…

By choosing to be more generous to both myself and others, I was able to stop "scraping by" and start to live more abundantly. It was a difficult shift to make but here's what it’s taught me:

• I used to expect to struggle. Now I expect to make more money and work towards those goals. 
• I used to focus on saving. Now I focus on earning more.
• I used to ask "can I afford this?”. Now instead I ask myself, "is this worth the investment?"

My new money story is: “There is always enough”. And there's enough for you too.

In my Career Coaching Programme, we can spend time working on your own money mindset. Together we can look at:

• How to identify and overcome your fears and negative beliefs around money
• Evaluate your finances and make a plan for transitioning out of your 9 to 5
• How to understand the value of your services and start charging your worth
• Get clear on what ‘success’ really means to you and how to create a lifestyle around it

It's time to stop doubting yourself, start expecting success and working towards it. 

This can be your turning point. Some pretty amazing clients of mine have already made the leap, joined the coaching programme and have transformed their lives.

I can't WAIT to support you on your journey too.

Experiencing more abundance in your life starts with being more generous to yourself. Ask yourself, “how can I expect others to invest in me, if I’m not willing to invest in me?”

Fledgling Freedom-preneur Interview: Lola Hoad

Welcome to a new instalment of my blog interview series, where I chat with fledgling freedom-preneurs about their first baby steps in business. 

By sharing their stories, warts and all, the aim is to help you find more clarity as you start out on your own business journey, get inspired, and see that all entrepreneurs have to start somewhere!  

So this month I've been chatting with paper goods designer Lola Hoad, who swapped graphic design for starting her own design studio and business coaching.

How long have you had your business?

I started LH design, my paper goods company, in May 2014 after a redundancy from a graphic design job. One Girl Band, the collective I run for female entrepreneurs and creatives, started in June 2015. 

Did you have any business background or experience before you started?

Definitely not! I was 19 when I first started, with just a few GCSEs and a half-done Photography BTEC to my name. I'm almost completely self-taught, apart from expertise I've picked up from previous jobs and from my parents, who are also self-employed.

What were the 3 most important things you invested in when you were starting out?

Being 100% honest, I was silly when I first started out. I had the wrong mindset when it came to money, and it resulted in me not investing in as much as I could've. The first major investment I took out was getting my paper goods printed with local printers, rather than just through my trusty inkjet! Last year, I hired a business + mindset coach (who I wish I had to hand sooner) and finally did my dream run of gold foil notebooks. 

Is there anything that you spent time/money on, that now with hindsight, you would do differently?

If I knew then what I know now, I would've hired a coach and invested in my products a lot sooner. Perhaps I would've invested in One Girl Band right from the beginning too, but I quite like how organically it's grown.

How did you get your first customers?

With LH design, my first customers were either from Etsy (so lots of promoting and building up my brand on social media) or via wholesale. I would email shops I liked and thought were in line with my brand's values and ask if they'd like a sample pack of cards to try out. The wholesale side of LH design is now the biggest side, and that wouldn't have happened if I didn't focus on it as early as I did. With One Girl Band, I got my first coaching clients by, again, building up my brand and expertise field value on social media, as well as offering free clarity calls.

What tips do you have for starting a business whilst still in your 9 to 5?

Just get started! The oldest trick in the book. If you feel you don't have enough time to do everything you need to do, you definitely won't get it done if you just give up. We all have the same amount of hours in the day, the month, the year. It's all about how we use them; with purpose, clarity and intent. 

You can check out Lola's gorgeous designs at www.lolahoaddesign.co.uk

So do you know anyone who is in the early stages of their biz, and would like to share their story and lessons learned? Then ask them to email me at hello@thecoastalcoach.com