With Father’s Day approaching, it’s got me thinking about how much our parents' jobs affect our own career paths, and is that actually a helpful thing?
I can clearly remember the excitement I would feel whenever there was school holiday or teacher training day, and my dad would announce that he was taking me with him to work.
He worked in TV production in London and his ‘office’ for that day could be anywhere from an edit suite in Soho, to a studio in Park Royal, or a location anywhere in the city. There would usually be camera equipment, lights, tapes and scripts piled high everywhere I looked, and always a buzz and sense of urgency in the people working around him. They would be dashing around, clutching Filofaxes (remember those?) and downing espressos, or holding important sounding conference calls on giant desk phones (this was pre-mobile) with clients in exotic places like New York or Los Angeles. To a 10 year old this seemed like THE most exciting way that anyone could spend their time. So was it any wonder that I desperately wanted to work in TV when I grew up?
A recent survey found that over 48% of respondents felt that their parents strongly influenced their career choices, and 40% said they felt pressure to follow their parents’ career advice.
This may or may not be intentional from the parents’ side, but it does show how powerful their influence can be. If a parent clearly loves their career then that may well rub off on their children too which is not necessarily a bad thing at all. However 57% of the survey respondents said that their parents simply wanted them to enter the same field or profession as theirs. Whilst this may stem from familiarity and wanting security for their children, it may also be doing them a disservice because it doesn’t take into account a young person’s unique combination of strengths and personal interests that will help to motivate them and excel in their career in the longer term.
So what can you do if you feel like you were steered down the wrong career path earlier in life, or if you are now a parent yourself?
Firstly, I’m a great believer that it never too late to discover your vocation. Whatever experience and self-knowledge you have gained to date is always valuable, and you will now have a much better understanding of what your core skills, strengths and motivators are than you did when you were younger. And also bear in mind that when our loved ones give us advice, it can be heavily influenced by their own life experiences and fears which may not be relevant or helpful to you now that you are older.
Secondly, if you are a parent yourself, it might be worth paying attention to the messages you’re already sending to your kids about what they might be want to do when they grow up. Take a step back and think about your own expectations and also any unfulfilled goals you have. Are you unwittingly pushing these onto your children? Also try to give them room to experiment and experience new things without being judgemental. As we all know, if they say they want to be a doctor today, they might want to be a circus acrobat tomorrow. So let them explore what gives them joy and what they’re most suited to, without fear of disapproval.
Personally, I did follow my dad into TV and had an exciting 8 years in that industry. However I eventually I realised that the Producer track I was on was not fulfilling me creatively in the ways I had expected and I eventually changed careers and moved into journalism. A few more years and a couple more career moves later across travel writing, charity communications and eventually advertising, I finally found my calling as a career coach but there was quite a bit of soul searching and frustration along the way. In the end I don’t regret any of the different career paths I tried out, and each one taught me something new about myself, but ultimately what I think I was searching for was the same passion for my job as my dad had for his. And I definitely did find that in the end.
